A few days ago a technician came to see what was the problem with my PC and why it didn't start. His diagnosis was age. My PC is more than 5 years old and sadly it's age is showing. 

He did some stuff so that it works better, but the fact is that I'll need to get a new one in the not too far future.

Straight to the point. My PC is as of right now dead.

Just how dead I won't know until I send it with a technician. But regardless of that I won't be here much for at least a few days and at most... I have no idea

Let's hope it's nothing serious or at the very least, that I can recover all my information.

You guys take care and thank you for reading

It's been like a month and now and somethings are better and others not

Lately it's been hard for me to keep many thoughts at the same time. It's like my mind can't process things like it used too and whenever I have to change from something to another it takes me hours to get the energy back.

I've been forgeting things more and more the past few days and in all honesty, it's kinda scary

I feel divided. Like I have things to do, people to please and mi mind can't cope with it all  

It's been a hard couple of weeks, a hard few months and depending how you look at it, even more.

A little more than a week ago, my old nanny passed away, after like a year of fighting against lung cancer. I didn't want to say anything at the time cause it's not something I wanted to talk and it was so close to april fools I didn't want people thinking it was a bad joke.

But it's been a week now and I'm not doing well, I don't know how I'm doing. I'm feeling sad. With a lot of anxiety and regret. Regret of not being more, not being better and above all else, not being there for her as much as I could have. She really was a second mother to me, took care of us since I was born, whenever my mom and dad were too busy or not there, she was. She was always there to help, to talk and I don't believe I was.

And please don't say I was, you don't know me, what I did and didn't do

I've feel really bad this past week, choking on a ball of emotions that doesn't want to go day in and day out. Felt like I'm being pulled in all directions, with what I want, what others want what others need, wanting to be there, wanting to be better and failing.

And the worst part is, it's far from over. Without going into details, I have other family members that don't have the best life expectancies and I don't want to feel like I wasn't with them when I could but even now it's so hard, it's hard to me to be with people in person, even when I love them, even when I want to.

Everytime I end up feeling angry and sad and just wanting to be alone and that's the best case. I don't have the best relationship with all of them and I really don't know how to do anything more and I hate myself for not being more, for being incapable of at least give them tranquilitie.

I'm so tired of feeling everything like an obligation and falling short to others expectations. I'm tired of everything, doing art for others, having to answer comments, having all this anxiety and pressure to do everything and the fact that if I don't do that, I have nothing else to do. There's no plase to go, no shoulder to cry, no words to confort

Long story short. I remove my paypal information from my psn account and then I received a mail from paypal saying that "Your Billing Agreement with Sony Interactive Entertainment Network has been cancelled"

I checked my paypal and there was a transaction for I think a game I bought a week ago that was fully paid

I don't know what any of this means, can someone help me please?

After some long absence to take care of my grandma, that was extended even further due to a freaking car crash!

I'm finally back at my house, back at my room and back at work

I'll get back at uploading stuff soon ^^

As the title say, I was in a car crash today. Good news, I'm mostly unharmed. Bad news, they had to take my grandma to the hospital, but all in all, she does looks fine and has no signs of any serious injury.

Still, she'll stay the night to be in observation.

Overall I'm fine, with a big headache, but fine none the less ^^

Letting you all know that I'm leaving tomorrow to take care of my grandma for a few weeks.

Apologies for any absent or delay that that might cause

And let's hope that it will be better
It's safe to say that this wasn't the best year for most, certainly wasn't for me

Been debating whether make a list of all the stuff that has happened to me or not, so... in short: 

Got sick a few times, get depressed a lot, had to deal with dead, start with a new therapist and new medication, fail some job interviews, got new friends, lost old friends, actually did inktober and lost one of my cats

(That last one was rather recent and really broke my heart)

Every year I do a list of promises for the new year, not always succeed at them, but it's important to not give up!

So, here I go:

1.-get better habits: waking up earlier, organice more my time, all that stuff
2.-clean up my room, to organize my life I need to organise my place
3.-Go back to job searching
4.-get more organized and more efficient in my drawings

I really did anything this year and I need to get better at it

And to all, I hope you have a great 2018 and never give up on your life's, no matter how hard things get *hugs*

And I mean computer stuff (darn abbreviations)

I just had some PC stuff happen and I think it's time for me to get an upgrade. Problem is... I know jack about technobabble

Does anyone have any recommendations? I just want something where I can play some games and do art